Last Day of Mommyhood Freedom

  The day have finally arrived - tomorrow I will return back to work.  Honestly though, I'm not as emotional as I thought I would be on this day.  Probably because I have 42843723 thoughts running through my head:  What do I need to pack for the sitter?  Will Cohen sleep better tonight?  What do I need to prepare for tomorrow at school?  Will my kids be good or how many office visits will I need to make?  Will I be able to make it the whole day without an emotional breakdown?
  I'm sure it will hit me hard as I get ready to walk out the door and realize that he's not coming with me. But, the day will hopefully go by fast and really, he's only at the sitter for 6 hours.  I think what makes it hard is that he's teething - which is causing him ear pain and sleepless nights.  We actually made a trip to the Urgent Care today to check it out because he keeps tugging at his left ear.  But like I told Kurtis, I can sleep when I'm 100 - if I have 18 years of sleepless nights, then so be it.  We have been blessed with an amazing gift and they aren't perfect. :)
  I'll miss our morning routine - his naps, my workouts, Regis and Kelly, Ellen and The Baby Story.  I'll miss his cute little squeals in my ear as I burp him after his morning baba and his sweet smile as I go to pick him up from his crib.  Most importantly, I'll miss watching him grow into a little man - but I guess I do have the weekends.
  But I'm going to do it - because there are only 60 days until Summer break.

My Little Stinker

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My Achy Breaky Heart

Okay, so I know I blog about this all the time but I think I was in denial that the time would never come.  But now I am down to my last week of maternity leave - the maternity leave I extended for the month of February may I remind you.  My heart, however, is aching at the thought that I have to leave my little stinker.  I've been having nightmares and the "what if" thoughts for the past few weeks.  Lately, I'm worrying about missing all the milestones.  I mean seriously, if I would've gone back to work when I first had originally planned, I wouldn't have seen him roll from my back to tummy for the first time.  And now he is so close to sitting up on his own, what if I miss that?  And what if I miss his first tooth pop up?  What about when he rolls across the room for the first time? And when he decides to start rocking on his hands and knees to get ready to crawl?  I'm seriously a hot mess thinking about this.  If I knew it was going to be this hard, I would've saved for years before having my first baby in order to stay home a whole school year.  But in all reality, life usually doesn't work out when you try to plan it.  I need to be strong and start a chain that counts down the days until summer.  Not only was I lucky enough to stay home 5 months with him, I'll work 3 weeks and then have a week off for Spring Break.  Then it is a measly 9 more weeks and I'll have the whole summer off!  I guess I just fear that his sitter won't spend time with him like I do, playing and talking, having tummy time, reading, loving and cuddling.  Actually, I know she'll love and cuddle him to death because last week she couldn't get enough of him when we went to visit.  But I just wish it was me.  Other moms do it, so I will too.  I just got to be strong.

I know he is saying, "Mom, please stay home with me.  I promise to never take my socks off and play around with my toes in my crib again."  How can I possibly leave this little guy??

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The Sweetest Sound

These are the momets that motherhood is all about!

And this is why I am not ready to go back to work.  Sigh....

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Carrots and Teeth and No Sleep...Oh My!

Little Man had his 4 month check up on Wednesday.  The stinker weighed 16 lbs 4oz and is a whopping 26.5 inches long!  The kid is growing like a weed and I get sad when I have to fold up his clothes and put them away like every other week.  But at our appointment, the doc gave us the okay to start Co on solids, starting with orange veggies and working our way to green veggies, then fruits.  So, we started with carrots and here is Cohen's first expression with the world of nummy veggies:

Uhh..Mom...what is this?

Okay, not too bad I guess!

Unfortunately, ever since Thursday, little man has decided that sleep isn't that important.  He goes to bed at his normal time - around 7:45.  Then, he'll wake up at 3 or 4 or 5 and decide he's ready to get up for the day.  And you can guess that I'm not a big fan of these wake ups.  Last night was the breaking point.  He woke up at 2:30 and stayed up until 5, finally deciding to sleep for an hour before getting up for good at 6.  Thank GOD my parents were here last night and my mom graciously got up for me and took care of him as I cried with frustration and tried to get at least a few more hours of sleep.  To make matters worse, tonight as I'm getting ready to feed him dinner, I see a little mini white bud - pretty sure at least.  So not only is he sleep deprived, getting used to new food and trying to party at wee hours of the night - the kid is getting a tooth.  Fab.  But it is all part of motherhood - the ups and downs.  However, no matter how angry or frustrated I get, as soon as I see that sweet smile and precious little face, my heart melts and I know he is the only thing that matters.  I thank God that I have been blessed with such a precious and amazing gift.  I also thank God for an amazing family - my husband, mom, dad and sister seriously are a blessing and I couldn't live without them.  But also just as important, I thank God for creating coffee - because otherwise I know I would not have made it this far.

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Father Like Son

When Cohen was born, there were all sorts of questions about who he looked like.  As a mother, you hope with all your might that the child you carried for 10 months and 2 days (yes ladies, why do they lie about the whole 9 months thing?) will be your mini clone.  Well, 4 months later it is quite apparent that Cohen is a spitting image of....sigh...his father.  It has taken me awhile to come to terms with this fact, but it is actually quite scary how much he looks and acts just like his dad.  Physically, he has Kurtis' eyes, ears and nose.  I will say he does have my mouth :).  Cohen definitely has his dad's patience, well, lack of I should say.  He goes into a trance when it comes to the TV, isn't a big fan of naps and is silly and goofy like his daddy.  The other quality that Cohen got from me is my grumpiness when waking up from naps - oops.  But Cohen is all boy - the boy that Kurtis has been dying to finally have in his life.  The happy ending to this fairytale would be if Cohen ends up being the star quarterback of Notre Dame - and I'm sure Kurtis will do everything in his power to make that dream come true!

Hangin' Out with Daddy

See what I mean?  Video games + TV = bad combo

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4 Months and Growing Strong!

   Little Man is 4 months old today!  Everyday is a new adventure with this little guy and I have loved watching him grow into the stinker that he is today!  He is growing up so fast that it is crazy to think he's already a third of the way through his first year.  Right now, Cohen loves to play with his feet and toes.  I lay him on the floor in the morning to play and he will roll right over to his side and gets so close to rolling over to his tummy.  It is only a matter of days until he becomes a rollin' man!  Most of the time when I try to do tummy time with him, he'll just roll himself right over because he is "so over it."  He has also discovered his hands - everything he touches goes into the mouth.  Right now he loves pulling my hair and more recently he has started grabbing at my nose and mouth when he is close to my face as I'm burping him.  It cracks me up because he is so observant as he feels my face.  Yesterday, me, Cohen and Brady were sitting in the window and he started petting Brady.  Well, let me rephrase that, pulling on Brady's fur, neck and ears.  And one of the ears even made it into the mouth, but sweet lil Brady didn't mind.  He is starting to like Cohen more, I think (or at least hope.)
   Cohen is down to 4 bottles a day - 8 oz every 4 hours.  Now don't freak out because he doesn't always eat the 8 oz...but he is pretty darn close!  He also gets his oatmeals in the morning and next week we get to start Gerber Stage 1 food at night for dinner.  As far as sleepy time he's been doing really well.  No more swaddle - which has helped me relax at night and he goes down around 7:30 and sleeps until 6:30 - but then cuddles with me until 7:30.  As soon as I switched him to the 4 hour schedule, he started sleeping throughout the night.  It took a few nights of rocking him back to sleep, but he has adjusted pretty well!  He is down to 2 big naps during the day with 1 mini catnap before Dad gets home so he isn't a big grump for him. :)
  The past 4 months have been so fun and I can't wait to see what he learns this month.  It is crazy how he has gone from a baby blob to an interactive baby.  I'm itching for spring (as we all are, considering this awful, disgusting weather) so I can bust out the jogger and get my run on with him and Brady.  But I am just crazy over this little guy and can't wait to see what the future holds!!!

So big!

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Mom Hair

I had a conversation with my mom last week about the reason she cut her hair short when she had kids.  I have never understood why so many moms cut their hair short when they have babies - really I figured it was to cut back on the time spent getting ready, which makes sense too.  However, since Cohen has discovered his hands, he loves to grab things.  DING DING DING!  You are correct - Mommy's hair.  Funny that as soon as it is in his grasp, his hands become iron fists and will not open, yanking my head down with it.  Then, it is a battle to keep it out of his mouth as I delicately pry each of his five fingers open to release the gob of hair.  All the while he is laughing and cooing because he just thinks it is a fun hangy toy.  Unfortunately he doesn't quite understand that my head is attatched to this toy.   But all of you moms out there, I now understand your theory behind short hair now.  However, I will not be cutting my hair anytime soon.  I will just suffer through Cohen's game...or wear a ponytail more often.

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It is coming...

As we were enjoying our snow day as a family this afternoon, Kurtis made a comment about how sad he was that I only have 26 days left to stay home with Cohen.  Immediately my head whipped around when I realized, umm, it really is already February!!  I know I am so blessed that I got to stay home with the little man for 5 months, but has it already been 5 months??  I really enjoy our daily routine together and actually look forward to it everyday.  It has been so fun to see him grow from a baby blob into a blooming baby.  I remember my first week home alone with Cohen - how I was so unsure of what I was doing, or if I was doing it right or if it was going to hurt him and so on.  But now, I love waking up every morning to his little smiling face and giggles and getting our morning baba as we watch the news.  I love doing tummy time with him and encouraging him to make that one extra movement that will get him to roll over.  I really love watching him sleep so innocently and wondering what he's dreaming of and whether he'll be grumpy when he wakes up.  But my little man will already be 4 months on Saturday and it is so hard for me to understand where the time went.  This is the side of motherhood that is going to be so hard for me - leaving him in someone else's care to enjoy this daily routine that I have grown to love.  In all reality, I have been blessed with more time than most working mothers, but it is going to be so hard to leave my stinker come March.

One Day Old

1 Month Old

2 Months Old

3 Months Old and counting...



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