Okay, so I know I blog about this all the time but I think I was in denial that the time would never come. But now I am down to my last week of maternity leave - the maternity leave I extended for the month of February may I remind you. My heart, however, is aching at the thought that I have to leave my little stinker. I've been having nightmares and the "what if" thoughts for the past few weeks. Lately, I'm worrying about missing all the milestones. I mean seriously, if I would've gone back to work when I first had originally planned, I wouldn't have seen him roll from my back to tummy for the first time. And now he is so close to sitting up on his own, what if I miss that? And what if I miss his first tooth pop up? What about when he rolls across the room for the first time? And when he decides to start rocking on his hands and knees to get ready to crawl? I'm seriously a hot mess thinking about this. If I knew it was going to be this hard, I would've saved for years before having my first baby in order to stay home a whole school year. But in all reality, life usually doesn't work out when you try to plan it. I need to be strong and start a chain that counts down the days until summer. Not only was I lucky enough to stay home 5 months with him, I'll work 3 weeks and then have a week off for Spring Break. Then it is a measly 9 more weeks and I'll have the whole summer off! I guess I just fear that his sitter won't spend time with him like I do, playing and talking, having tummy time, reading, loving and cuddling. Actually, I know she'll love and cuddle him to death because last week she couldn't get enough of him when we went to visit. But I just wish it was me. Other moms do it, so I will too. I just got to be strong.
2 comments:
He takes his socks off too? Owen thinks it's his job to remove his shoes and socks everytime he gets in the van. :-P
It will suck, I am not going to lie, but then you will both get into a routine and it will be okay. I still miss my little man while I am at school. It is a good thing we have our students to keep our mind occupied!
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